When I was just
a little girl,
So small, without a care,
My father said, "Don’t go to school,
Just stay home and grow hair.
So, I stayed home and brushed and combed,
I really did my best.
And soon I had a condo
For flocks of birds to nest.
One day I got a haircut,
With the help of all my friends.
We filled up a whole semi,
With trimmings and split ends.
And as I grew, my hair grew too,
And all the boys I wowed.
With curly locks of brillo,
Marge Simpson would be proud.
========
Now, I was flying in an airplane,
At thirty-thousand feet,
They moved the people from first class,
Gave me a front row seat.
But then the plane lost power,
With smoke the cabin filled.
I knew that we were going to crash,
And we would all be killed.
But I saved 200 passengers,
And diverted quite a horror.
My hair worked like an air bag,
In a rolling Ford.Explorer.
========
Now, I've provided cover
For SWAT teams to hide behind,
And my husband took me hunting,
Used my hair for a deer blind.
But, now I'm quite a movie star,
I've grown my hair quite long.
So, come and see me starring,
In "The Hair That Ate King Kong".
