I left a party late one night,
I didn’t want to miss my flight.
And on my map, to my elation,
Was a shortcut to my destination.

I’d consumed my fill of Chardonnay,
And thought I’d take a short delay,
And ask a farmer, who’s name was Larry,
To give my bladder sanctuary.

Larry pointed, "over yonder",
So, down a trail I did wander,
Until I came to a small dwelling,
Moon on door...Interior smelling.

It would not honor suit or tie,
I looked around, and by and by,
I found a tree of great dimension,
And took the stance for my intention.

Relief was just a blink away,
I still remember to this day,
That slimy snake or furry foe,
But what it was I’ll never know.

Bad luck, you may call it fate.
It lifted up and took the bait,
A demon from the gates of Hell,
Could not repeat my mournful yell.

"Help," I yelled to farmer Larry,
Hoping that he would not tarry,
With shirt of plaid and bibs of denim,
I was sure that he’d suck out the venom.

You’ve only got a scratch or two,
I’ll have to summon Betty Lou.
It’s probably from a bug or spider,
You’ll have to soak that thing in cider.

I wasn’t up on my folklore,
We went inside and shut the door,
As Betty Lou relieved my pain,
I forgot about my leaving plane.

So, in the fall we did marry,
And moved into the house with Larry,
But now, I’m sure you saw it coming,
I got Larry indoor plumbing.